Taking a Test

So I am off to the store to buy the pregnency test. I am incredibly nervous but have never been this late and have never felt this good prior to a period.

I am also nervous about telling Ben. We had thought to start trying, but never thought that I would be pregnant before being carefree. There is still a chance that I will be getting my period and that I am finally being blessed with 30+ days between, opposed to the ordinary feeling of being cheated and only haveing 26-28 days.

I am completely overwhelmed, babies surrounding me, the money issues, day care... what are we going to do. Plus if I were pregnant, baby born in January, when it is the coldest in our house... we would have to set up a bedroom in the dining room to keep warm enough with the wood stove!

Yikes... so on to the test. Maybe I will get my period while running errands and not have to deal with the test, but then again, I would be dealing with disappointment. In my dream I got my period, it was really dark, but I was incredibly sad, i had to get up and run to the bathroom, but I really didn't want to because I didn't want to get my period. So at least I know how I feel. I do want to be pregnant, I do want to be a mom, but I AM scared shitless!